I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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