3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
how drunk are you?
Several
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
