How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
