I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
