he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize