this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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