Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
