South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
