You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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