If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
