it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
