You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
