Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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