so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
