He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize