Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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