i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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