i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
