he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize