I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
