Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
