I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
