I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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