It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
