she was so not down for the gang bang
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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