apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
