you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
