making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
