i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
