I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize