Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
