how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize