I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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