We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
