its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
