i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
did i just pee glitter
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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