Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
