u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
