You work out of a Hotel?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
