when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
