you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
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