I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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