this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Rumble strips road head = magical
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
