Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
3pm strippers are depressing
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
