Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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