sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize