Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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