You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
The struggles of a small town man whore
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
