hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
