i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
