Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm too high and old for this...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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