I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize