SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
