What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
