Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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