I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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