If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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