my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
