thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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