and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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