i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
