My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm passing your future prison.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
