So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
