am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
