I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
