i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
