Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
