just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
