from now on my penis is your penis
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
