would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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